Listening to Klezmer.

I fall in love with L again for the look he has on his face when he’s listening to this music which is surely in his genes and for the pleasure I know he feels because he is listening to it with me.

What is lasting? This loving feeling? Or the deep sadness I feel for having to fight for my presence in this relationship, when so much of the time I feel as though there is no L & me. Most of the time, there is only L, and I do not exist.

Perhaps neither feeling is lasting.