#2 Regard All Dharma As Dreams

In the context of this Lojong slogan, dharma means the experienced world. The idea that there is nothing solid about our experience is unnerving. More than unnerving. If my experience is not real and lasting, what am I? On the other hand, I have observed myself in the last week making a very big deal of something that was not a big deal at all. I recognize the urge to sometimes make events solid that are not solid at all. So it’s not unlikely that I do it more than I realize.

I received a notice from the bank to pay a rental fee for a safe deposit box. I’ve had the box for years, and I’ve never put anything in it. I had only signed up for it because it came free with an account, but now it was no longer free. I decided to cancel rather than pay, and I looked everywhere for the keys, but I couldn’t find them. Arrrgh. This meant the bank would have to drill the box open. I guess they wanted to make sure I hadn’t left a forgotten diamond tiara inside. Drilling the box would cost me $150, and I had to show up when the drilling took place which would cost me time (and money).

By the time I showed up for the appointment, I had stirred myself into high dudgeon. To make matters worse, the bankers kept me and the man who would drill the box waiting. I ranted on and on to him, about how unfair the rental fee was, how banks are charging all manner of absurd fees these days, how ridiculously high the drilling fee was, that I was losing money sitting there, blah, blah, blah, blah, ad nauseam.

Out of nowhere, the banker was at my side. I don’t know where he came from, and as many times as I’ve been to my branch, I’d never seen him before. He felt my pain. As we walked to the vault, he said, “I’ll only charge you half the fee.” My mood changed immediately. My anger dissipated all at once, like air from a popped balloon.

I expressed my gratitude to him, but I also realized how ridiculous my behavior had been. I had gotten all worked up, blackened my day, blackened the day of anyone I had come in contact with, and probably raised my blood pressure. How silly. I am sure the banker saw me brighten. He told me he believed in doing a good deed for someone every day, and I promised him that I would pass his favor on. We had a very pleasant chat in his office later on.

I laughed at myself on the way home, and I am laughing at myself as I write this. Why do I make such a big deal about something that is not really a big deal at all? How often do I waste energy worrying or being angry when it’s absolutely not necessary (and certainly not helpful)? Silly human. Silly, silly human.

Update 1/31/11. The drilling charge has not appeared on my account. I have a feeling it never will.

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.